Previously: Digger called 911 to report an impending bank robbery: his own.
“Excuse me?†asked the dispatcher. “Did you say you were going to rob a bank?â€
“MCP National downtown,†Digger said. “I’ll be there in about 20 minutes, give or take. Send cops.â€
“Wait, you’re telling me ahead of time that you’re going to rob a bank?†the dispatcher said, unbelieving.
“I have no choice,†Digger said. “There’s this hostage, see…â€
The phone beeped and he glanced at the screen. Incoming call. He answered it.
“The phone has limited minutes,†said the Voice. “Stop wasting them or he dies.â€
*click*
Digger switched back to 911. “Sorry, I can’t talk any more.â€
“Did you say you’re holding hostages in the bank?â€
“No, I’m… Long story. Look, just send cops, okay? This sucks.â€
He pocketed the phone and leaped across a broad avenue to the building on the other side of the street, hearing gasps of wonder beneath him as he passed overhead. The sounds turned to cheers as he sped away.
It had been like this ever since Hell on Earth. Gigantic images of him had appeared around the globe, visible to nearly everyone in the world, showing his defeat of the man who had caused it. In the weeks since, people who had once greeted his appearance with a “meh†now cheered as he passed by.
There were no police cars waiting when he arrived at the bank, panting and sweaty. The run had taken more out of him than he had expected. He checked the time on the phone as he dropped down to the street. Eighteen minutes–he had three minutes to spare.
Except that they weren’t to spare. The kidnapper needed to hear the robbery announced on the police band. Where the hell were the cops?
He pushed through the doors into the lobby. “You’re too late,†said the teller by the door.
“What?†Digger asked, panting.
“Yeah, the cops were just here,†said the guard who stepped up to talk to him. He looked more closely at Digger’s face. “Man, what happened to you? You run all the way here or what?â€
“Yeah. What about the cops?â€
“Well, they came in here asking a bunch of questions about a robbery and hostages,†the guard said. “I told them it was a false alarm, and they left. Didn’t look too happy about being pranked either.â€
Digger sighed. “Why did you tell them it was a false alarm?â€
“Because there weren’t no robbery,†said the guard. “To tell you the truth, I’m a little surprised they called you in on this. I mean, I know you’ve stopped bank robberies before, but usually not until they’ve really gone bad. I’m surprised they would have called you in so early, on account of the way you blow stuff up and all.â€
“Yeah, well see, the thing is, they didn’t call me,†Digger said. “I called them.â€
“Why?â€
“Because…†Digger’s hand moved suddenly. A moment later, he held the guard’s gun upside down in his fist. “I’m the one robbing the bank.â€
Be here tomorrow for our next exciting episode!
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