Week 8.3 – Bite the Big Apple Corps

Previously: Digger and Twain were trapped in an alley by the members of the Big Apple Corps. And now…

Twain turned to see a tall, slim black man in a white cape that surrounded his body like a robe. His arms protruded through two slits in the cape and were clasped in front of him like an opera diva about to launch into an aria from Madame Butterfly. The feminine cut of the cape, the elbow-length white satin gloves and the general elegance of his posture reminded Twain of some 60’s fashion icon, like Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany’s or something. All he needed was a cloche hat.

“Deus,” Digger said. “About time. I never got to thank you for helping me stop Hell on Earth.”

“I don’t need your thanks,” said Deus Ex Machina. “I didn’t do it for you.”

“So do we have to fight, or can I explain things first?”

“Neither,” Deus said. “You broke the law. There’s a warrant out for your arrest. As officers of the court, we can’t let that slide.”

“So we fight.”

“Sadly, no,” Deus said. “I have a deposition in just a few minutes. So as much as I would love to watch my partners take you apart, we’ll have to do this the quick way.”

He unclasped his hands to make a small gesture. Twain went for his second gun, the one holstered on his left side with the butt pointing forward for a cross-body draw, but no part of his body could move. He was paralyzed.

“Damn it, Everett, what do you think you’re doing?” asked Caveat.

“Code names, please,” Deus replied. “The cowgirl isn’t unconscious, just frozen. And like I said, I have an appointment.”

“What, you don’t think we could have handled the two of them?” asked Invictus as he and the others congregated around Deus. “They’re nothing.”

Twain was confused. All the articles he’d read about the Corps named Invictus as the leader, but they all seemed to defer to Deus. In fact, Invictus looked much less impressive now; his eyes were no longer glowing, and his voice had transformed from its terrifying thunder to something decidedly more pedestrian with a hint of Jersey in the accent. Plus, now that they were both at ground level, Twain noticed the receding hairline he couldn’t perceive when the man was hovering over his head. Twain wished he could get out of the paralysis for just a moment, so he could show Invictus just what surprises a nothing like him could spring.

“Digger’s dangerous,” Deus said.

“I can handle him,” Caveat muttered.

“Of course.” Deus walked up close to look into Digger’s eyes.  “Pity I don’t have more time to think of something interesting to do with you. Remember the chicken mask?”

Caveat laughed. “That was classic.”

Deus looked at his watch. “Well, I guess I still have a little time. Anybody have a Sharpie? I want to write ‘Loser’ on his…”

KONG!

“KONG” being the sound of Deus’s skull bouncing off a Driller Beam Generator. The assembled Corps members looked at him in shock.

Digger wasn’t frozen.

Looks like the fight has started! You don’t want to miss tomorrow’s exciting episode!

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