Week 18.5 – Defcon 5

Previously: Digger fell unconscious after experiencing a brilliant insight into how to defeat Twain and the Cobalt Czar. And now…

When Digger came to, he was on a couch in the lavishly furnished den of what seemed to be a very expensive house.

“Welcome back,” said the white-robed woman as she drew her hands back from him. Metalord and the white-haired man stood nearby, while the Asian twins lounged on a couple of overstuffed chairs.

Digger sat up and realized that he didn’t feel any pain at all. “You healed me?”

“I took the opportunity while you were unconscious to do a more thorough job, yes,” said the woman. “You may be sore for a few days, though. You can call me Boon.”

“What, like you wear a coonskin cap and hunt grizzly b’ars?”

She cast a dismayed glance at Metalord and back at Digger. “No.”

She opened her mouth to say something else, but Digger cut her off. “Wait a second, I was unconscious. Did I say anything before I passed out?”

“Like what?” Metalord asked.

Digger stood up and started to pace. “Like, I’d just had the most amazing… I had figured out exactly what I needed to do to solve my problems. I could see the entire plan at once, like a tapestry or something, and all I needed to do was capture it, separate out all the steps and figure out which one to do first.”

“But you don’t remember it now,” Metalord said.

“No,” Digger said.

“That was me, I’m afraid,” said the white-haired man. He stepped forward and offered his hand. “I’m Cortex. I’m sorry for the confusion, but you were getting a little wound-up there, so I overstimulated your nervous system. That epiphany you felt was just a side effect. Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” said one of the Asian girls. “It’s funny to watch them get all excited, then pass out. Like watching drunks on Youtube.”

“So it wasn’t real?” Digger asked. “And you guys are the Defcon 5, right?”

[blockquote type=”blockquote_quotes” align=”right”]…”What’s the word where it’s like racism, only with twins?” “That’s not really a thing,” Metalord said. Hidari and Migi shared a knowing glance…[/blockquote]“It’s just ‘Defcon 5,’” Cortex said. “Why do people insist on putting ‘the’ in there?”

“Boon, Cortex, Metalord, and…” Digger looked questioningly at the Asian girls.

“Hidari,” said the one who hadn’t spoken yet. “And my sister’s Migi.”

“And B.B.’s not here yet,” Metalord said.

“Wait, there’s another one?” Digger asked.

“Of course,” Cortex said. “Why not?”

“Because that would make six of you,” Digger said. “You’re the Defcon 5.”

“Just ‘Defcon 5,’” Cortex insisted.

“Hidari and Migi are only super when they’re holding hands,” Metalord said. “So they only count as one.”

“It’s racist,” Migi said.

“It’s got nothing to do with race,” Cortex said.

“No, but what’s the word where it’s like racism, only with twins?”

“There is no such word,” Boon said.

“That’s not really a thing,” Metalord said.

Hidari and Migi shared a knowing glance.

“So you said something about the Cobalt Czar,” Cortex said.

“Yes,” Digger said. “It’s sort of complicated, but…

“I’m home,” called a voice from the entry hall. A hefty blonde woman entered the room. “What did I miss?”

Digger gaped at the woman. “Katrina?”

Who is Katrina and how does Digger know her? Find out next week (maybe) in the next exciting chapter of Run, Digger, Run!

To read from the beginning, click here…